Getting carded by somebody trapped in the 90s is not retro-inspired chic, but merely dark.
Why are the bartenders so pissed off? Always. Dude, I can see your pile of tips by the cash register. Work ain't so bad!
Why is the patio always 20 degrees colder than anywhere else in the city? Heat lamps are for punks too. Invest!
I challange you to find an uglier bar in the city. Blondies may be filled with idiots, but at least they would look good stepping out of the shower.
Again, outdoor speakers are for punks too. Invest! Also, I would suggest putting something post-1998 on the jukebox. Anything, really. Even a Libertines sticker would liven things up!
Enter your own Five Worst Zietgiest Moments, or something else.